Wakulla Beach Florida

We Are Mirrors to Each Other
IRWIN  FRIEDMAN

Updated Nov 10, 2013

This is my blog! I just deleted my wordpress blog and this one is still under construction. I was getting 50-100 spam messages a day on it. Too many!

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We Are Mirrors to Each Other



Everyone I meet is a mirror to my soul


Relationship seems to be the key for understanding ourselves. What is my relationship to another person, to nature, to an idea?

I have been studying myself for most of my life and I find that watching my reaction to others informs me of what is going on in my unconscious mind. For example, when I see a person that appears to me to be acting in an arrogant manner and it bothers me, then I am looking at myself. Arrogance is something I am hiding from myself for whatever reason. The same goes for any behavior that bothers me from sexism, racism and jealousy to name a few. I have also discovered that when I am soothed by another's actions or words, that too is me. Finally if I am really brave, I ask a friend or someone who doesn't necessarily likes me for an assessment of my behavior. They are usually right on. It seems that it is difficult to objectively observe our own behaviors. This may be why looking deeply at our reactions to all our relationships is so useful for self understanding. I feel that as soon as we meet someone and have thoughts about them, then we are in a relationship.

The same applies to ideas and nature. By observing my relationship to ideas and other people's views, I see what bothers me because it contains the seed of what I am trying to hide from myself.

What is my relationship to nature? Do I even have a relationship with the natural world? It seems to me that if I love nature, the skies, the trees, and animals, then I would love and care for the earth too.

This is all easy to say yet hard to put into practice. I invite myself and the reder to go on this journey using relationship as the mirror to self understanding.

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Weekly quote

The mind uses suffering ... to enrich itself

A mind that is suffering obviously becomes insensitive because suffering is its occupation; the mind uses suffering as a means for its own protection. My son dies, or my husband dies, and I am left alone; I have no companion, and I feel my life has been blotted out. So I keep on suffering, and my mind is not concerned with freedom from suffering, but I make suffering into another means of my existence. The mind uses suffering, as it uses joy, to enrich itself because the mind thinks that without being occupied it is poor, it is empty, dull. This very occupation of the mind creates its own destruction. Sorrow is not a thing to be occupied with, any more than joy. The mind must understand why there is sorrow, and not keep on being occupied with sorrow. The mind wants security, whether it is in suffering or in joy. So sorrow becomes the way of security. This is not a harsh thing I am saying; for, if you think about it, if you look into it, you will see how the mind plays a trick on itself. It is only the unoccupied mind that is intelligent, that is sensitive.

The Collected Works vol VIII, pp 104-105

The Last Talks of Krishnaurti, p100
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